My name is Kezzia Jacobs-McNeil and I participate in Listening Partnerships. As parents sometimes we feel guilty or like we don't deserve to vent the hardships and frustrations of being a parent. Listening Partnerships have given me a safe space to vent my feelings and talk about issues in parenting and raising healthy children. I am extremely grateful to have this safe venting space as it helps me, parent, in a calmer and more level-headed space.

My listening partnership with Dave has been a great way to get more comfortable with sharing what I'm feeling and doing as a parent out loud. It's easy to internalize your struggles as a parent, and it can be hard to be honest about where you fall short of your own expectations, but having a listening partnership has contributed to me being less reactive and more proactive about becoming the parent I want to be in Christ. A listening partnership also reminds me how important it is to be parenting in a community, and how I need other parents and perspectives to grow. - Steven McIntosh

The parenting workshop really helped me reframe how I view parenting. I am the mother of 4 and I was feeling exhausted and drained trying to control my children's behavior. The parenting workshop opened my eyes to the importance of connecting emotionally with my children. It freed me from feeling the need to control my children's behavior and taught me to let my children emote, to play a supporting role rather than a controlling role. I'm still in the process of reframing but I've already seen the effects. The other day, one of my daughters was having a tantrum. Rather than trying to stop it, she got it out and I asked if she needed a hug. She wanted one and was immediately back to her happy self. For me, it was much less exhausting than trying to stop the tantrum. Slowly but surely, I am seeing my emotional connection with my children grow.

My husband and I have been participating in listening partnerships with Pastor Dave for a few months. I'm so grateful for this set-apart time to share the latest highs and lows of parenting with someone who offers an unbiased listening ear. I didn't realize how much I carry on my shoulders, and how much goes unsaid and weighs on my heart until I started talking to Pastor Dave. It's amazing how just speaking something aloud can help ease a burden. While my husband and I always have each other to talk and vent to, it's been so helpful having a neutral person to offer wise counsel, bounce ideas off of, and get feedback. I look forward to our time each week.

The Listening Partnership impacts my life and parenting in a positive way. The Listening Partnership provides a weekly outlet that I didn’t recognize I needed. I express, to my listening partner, my anger, fears, and shortcomings without judgment. In sharing my feelings and thoughts, I have realized I am not alone as a parent. Through the engagement, I realize I do not have to bury my emotions until I erupt but rather I can express my feelings to an open ear and avoid an outburst. In conjunction with the Listening Partnership, The Parental Workshops have enabled my family to improve our views on communication with one another. For example, my wife and I have gained a new tool, Special Time, to help identify each of our children's needs. As parents, we have become more intentional as we spend time with our children. Going forward our intent and focus is on building stronger relationships and bonds.

As a single parent, I am faced with additional challenges I didn't expect and at times get discouraged and uncertain of how to parent. The NLK Ministry and Pastor Dave have provided me with resources and tools to help me on that journey. I recently participated in the Parenting by Connection workshops. I learned new skills and techniques to better understand children's developmental behaviors and reactions so that I can provide more targeted emotional support for my child. The exercises and practices from the course have made a difference in helping us bond more closely, making a more happy and peaceful relationship and setting at home.

Upon completion of the course and continuation of the journey, Pastor Dave invited the parents to Listening Partnership sessions. I've been meeting with Pastor Dave regularly and it's been a tremendous help to me. I learned a lot from the class but one thing Pastor Dave said that resonated with me, especially as a single parent, is "how can you listen to your kids if no one is listening to you as a parent". The Listening Partnership meetings give me a space to express my emotions and feelings honestly and openly in a safe, non-judgmental, encouraging place, and for that I am grateful.

Ever since I’ve started Listening Partnership with Dave, I feel I’m more in tune with my emotions as a wife and parent to our daughter. I used to bottle up all my emotions and move on with life without feeling much but now when conflicts arise, I stop and ask myself what am I feeling right now and give permission for myself to feel big emotions. This was an exercise Dave helped me walk through many times during our calls. And for this, I feel I’m more empathetic and emotionally more mature as a parent who can relate and respond compassionately to my toddler daughter who experiences big and small emotions every day in these early formative years.

There are some days when I'd rather do anything except connect with my kids - I'll cook for them, I'll prepare activities for them, I'll take them out to play and explore, but I don't truly want to connect because I'm exhausted and I'm empty, and I haven't connected with anyone my age in a while. Listening partnerships have helped me create a regular space to offload some of the stress and burdens of parenting with another parent, which frees up my mind and my heart to be more present with my kids, to be more willing to listen, to have more energy to laugh with and enjoy them. This partnership also helps me remember that I am not alone, that I'm not the only one struggling, that struggling in parenting is normal, and that working through challenges takes time. Because I am making time for adult conversation, I feel that I am able to love my kids better, and that is my hope - to love my kids every day better than I did the day before.